Please don't ask me what I do for a living

I am a physician, and I am proud of it. I am also a writer, an editor, an adventurer, a business owner, a daughter, a dog lover—you get the point. 

“What do you do for a living?” is one of the first questions strangers ask each other. I find this frustrating, because I would rather get to know someone in other ways. I usually respond by saying, “I am in medicine,” or “I work in a hospital; what about you?” This often shifts the conversation, but not always.

Sometimes, this answer is followed by the question: “Are you a nurse?” This also frustrates me, because it follows the false stereotype that every female in medicine must be a nurse. 

I like to keep a low profile

It implies that you are highly educated and well-paid. Most people don’t fully understand how hard we have worked, nor how much debt we have accumulated, to get to where we are today. They assume we are living a life of easy luxury. 

If I am on an airplane, at a party, climbing a mountain, or on a dive boat, I want to be treated like any other individual. I realize that my career is a privilege, enabling me to create a life that I’m proud of, but I am still a regular person with bills, a boss, stress, and sleep issues. 

I feel pressured to offer medical advice to strangers

Often, once strangers find out you are a doctor, they love to ask for your advice about their health ailments (or even a recent mole they discovered). Although I love educating and advising my patients about their health, I am nervous about doing this for strangers. 

For starters, they are not my patients; I don't know their medical history, nor have I examined them, and I worry they may go to their regular doctor and say, “So-and-so doctor I met told me to do this.” 

When strangers ask me about a health issue, I try to explain that I generally do not give advice to people who aren’t my patients, because I do not know their full history. 

I don’t want to talk about work with new acquaintances

I talk about work enough while I am at work, or with my close friends and family. But when I am in public, on vacation, or at a social gathering, I want to unwind and relax. I believe there are so many other questions to ask, especially when you are traveling in a foreign country or engaging in a new activity with strangers, that are more interesting than “What do you do for work?” 

I also don’t like to tell strangers I am a doctor because they treat me differently as soon as they find out.

I find this to be especially true when making a large purchase, such as a house or a car. When realtors and salespeople find out you are a doctor, they see dollar signs, and their sales pitch tends to become more aggressive. 

I don’t like to brag

Growing up, I was taught to avoid talking about how much or how little we had. If I came home with a glowing report card, I was told, “Good job, that’s expected.” I was taught to live frugally and live below my means; bragging about my accomplishments, status, money, dog, or house was unacceptable. Kids love to show off, but I was taught that this was not an attractive quality, and I still practice this mindset in my adult years.

Of course, all of the reasons I’ve listed about why I try not to disclose that I am a doctor to strangers are my own opinions and should be taken as generalizations. I know many of my colleagues and physician friends do not like saying they are a doctor for these reasons as well, but everyone will feel differently about how and when to divulge what they do for a living.