5 lifestyle changes to improve your sex life

Is your sex life feeling a bit lackluster? Stress management, exercise, quality sleep, and a healthy diet are just some of the lifestyle factors that can make or break a person’s sex life.

“Anything that improves your overall health is going to improve your sex life,” Tami Rowen, MD, an OB/GYN and sexual health expert at UCSF Health, tells MDLinx. “Poor health [is] also a risk factor for poor sex life.”

MDLinx spoke with Dr. Rowen and Philip Werthman, MD, a board-certified urologist and director of the Center for Male Reproductive Medicine and Vasectomy Reversal in LA, about the specific lifestyle changes a person can make to improve their sex life.

First, calm down

Stress can be an unwelcome guest in the bedroom. Research suggests it can also contribute to erectile dysfunction.^[] “We know that one of the biggest killers of sex drive in men, and probably in women, too, is stress,” says Dr. Werthman, noting big life changes, such as moving, a death in the family, or financial issues, as common culprits.

Stress releases cortisol, which in turn can cause dysregulation of the neurotransmitters in the brain. In some people, this can impact libido.

“Sex drive, from a biological perspective, is actually mediated by neurotransmitters,” Dr. Rowen points out. But for some people, she says, stress isn’t always a mood killer and can have the opposite effect.

“There are things that make us want to have sex, and things that make us not want to have sex,” she says. “For most people, stress is going to get in the way of the sex response. For other people, sex is a relief of stress.”

Get more sleep

Poor sleep, sleep that is disrupted, or sleep disorders can also impact sexual function.^[]

Along with the general health benefits of getting good sleep consistently, Dr. Rowen says it really can make a difference to a person’s sex life.

“We are an underslept society in general, and if people sleep more, it would also help improve their sex life. We know that sleep is linked to every health condition under the sun, and the main one is mood. And mood is going to be directly linked to how people desire and experience sex,” she says.

And in regards to timing: “People’s sexual desire peaks in the morning. If we look at it from a hormonal standpoint, we think that that's because testosterone peaks in the morning. We see that in both men and in women," Dr. Rowen says. "So it doesn't surprise me that, if somebody is actually well rested, they would have more sexual desire in the morning.”

Get your heart rate up

There are numerous exercises that can boost libido and lead to a better sex life, and physical activity is known to boost sexual function for both men and women.^[]

“Exercise improves testosterone levels. It puts you in good shape. Sex, when done properly, is a cardiac aerobic workout for many people,” Dr. Werthman says.

It can also do wonders for lifting mood: “The natural endorphins that are released during sex are released during exercise. The dopamine response centers in the brain are activated during exercise the way they are during sexual activity. So the pleasure centers of the body, regardless of the activity, are activated,” Dr. Rowen says.

Ideally, Dr. Rowen says, working out for more than 20 minutes will give the most benefit for lifting mood and addressing issues that can be related to low sex drive.

“All the complaints that I hear from people in terms of poor sleep, poor energy, bad mood, low sex drive, I’ll [tell them], ‘You know, I have this wonderful thing called exercise that actually will do so much for all of these complaints,’” Dr. Rowen says.

Eat well

Dr, Werthman has a similar approach. “Eating healthy is a key cornerstone to being healthy. If people are eating processed, sugary crap and that's what their diet consists of, they're going to be in a much higher likelihood of being obese, having high blood pressure, potentially being diabetic, and then being at higher risk for cardiac disease, erectile dysfunction, all those things. And they’re at higher risk for hypogonadism, too, which is the medical term for low testosterone, and the symptoms surrounding low testosterone. So this is all related,” he says.

Be mindful of weight

A great sex life can be enjoyed at all weights. But both experts who spoke with MDLinx note that being aware of the health implications of extra weight can be helpful in having a good sex life.

“Obesity, high body mass index, relates very, very strongly and correlates with both fertility and also with sex drive and sometimes the ability to perform sex. Being overweight can lead to low testosterone levels in men, and it becomes a vicious cycle. It can lead to high estrogen levels, lower testosterone. Higher estrogen kills sex drive, sometimes kills the ability to actually get an erection or maintain an erection,” Dr. Werthman says.