How to have healthier relationships to promote better mental wellbeing

Most physicians spend their professional lives engaging others. They have important working relationships with patients and colleagues. Additionally, personal relationships are an integral part of a doctor’s life. Good relationships can enrich and add joy to your life. But what defines a healthy personal relationship or friendship?

A body of research supports the link between social relationships and mental wellbeing. Relationships and mental health affect one another, for both good and bad. Good relationships offer social support, which takes the form of emotional, instrumental, and informational resources to the individual. Interestingly, improving relationships improves mental health, but the opposite isn’t always true. So, as an individual working in an increasingly stressful and sometimes draining profession, it’s important to cultivate those good relationships to promote mental wellbeing.

Components of a healthy relationship

Healthy personal relationships exist among friends, family, coworkers, and romantic interests. Plenty of factors play into the development and maintenance of a healthy relationship, including:

• Support
• Honesty
• Trust
• Respect
• Equality
• Strong communication
• Fairness
• Playfulness
• Fondness

However, not all healthy relationships necessarily involve each of these components. Some healthy relationships exhibit unhealthy aspects as well. But a healthy relationship, on the whole, has more positive than negative attributes. Overall, a healthy relationship should deliver more happiness than stress to your life. Furthermore, developing healthy relationships with others takes dedication and time.

In a healthy relationship you should be able to:

• Enjoy spending time together and sharing interests
• Have a healthy sense of independence and time to concentrate on yourself
• Establish an open line of communication to discuss any concerns without fear of anger or reprisal
• Feel secure and at ease
• Support and encourage one another
• Maintain relationships with other people you care about (outside the relationship)
• Accept each other’s influences

Components of an unhealthy relationship

No relationship is completely healthy, and some aspects of every relationship are unenviable. Unhealthy relationships, however, are weighted with more negativity and mostly result in stress and pressure. This stress can boil over into other important aspects of your life, such as work.

Here are some characteristics of an unhealthy relationship:

• Feeling concerned or worried when you disagree with another person
• Feeling pressured to stop engaging in activities that you enjoy
• Feeling pressured to change who you are, how you act, or how you think
• Having to explain your personal decisions and desires
• Feeling that you lack privacy or independence
• Worrying that arguments are not settled in a mutually satisfying way
• Refusing to make time for one another
• Lacking any common interests or friends
• Lacking a sense of equality
• Feeling cheated with respect to how much money or effort you expend on another person
• Feeling threatened either physically, psychologically or sexually

Two options exist if you think that you’re involved in an unhealthy relationship. First, you can work on your relationship to improve it. If that doesn’t work, you can end the relationship if you think there is no hope for improvement. You may want to consult with a mental health professional or counselor if you are unsure of how to proceed or have established a habit of involving yourself in unhealthy relationships.

Fighting fairly

No relationship is devoid of conflict—even healthy ones. During conflict, however, it’s important to fight fair and follow these ground rules:

• Use words, not actions
• Take time-outs
• Stay calm
• Specifically explain your concerns
• Concentrate on only once concern at a time
• Refrain from making accusations or assumptions and, instead, discuss your feelings
• Refrain from making attacks that are personally sensitive and off topic
• Refrain from generalizing
• Refrain from shutting down
• Refrain from making things up

Remember that the benefits of a healthy personal relationship can help make you a better and happier person. Humans are social creatures and we all need companionship, which comes in many forms. But an unhealthy relationship can take its toll and may require you to end the relationship for self-preservation and peace of mind. Seek help from others when in doubt about the status of a relationship.